Thursday, July 30, 2009

My hubby's on a DIET, and I have PMS




So my hubby comes to me yesterday and says, "I have got to do something about my weight."

Okay.

"I want to sign up for one of those programs where they pre-wrap all of your meals and then you don't even have to think about it."

You mean like when I cook you dinner? I didn't say a word, but my mind starts racing...

"You mean the prepackaged stuff that's so disgusting that when you think about eating it your stomach curls up and all of the sudden you are full? Why didn't I think of that? Seriously, the food tastes like crap, but since it's full of vitamins we somehow think it's okay to eat? Ya know, I should dehydrate all my meals, crush a package of vitamins in them, and sell them on eBay..."

Then he interrupted my thoughts with, "And it only costs four hundred dollars per month!"

Only?

Is the word "only " suppose to make me think, "Wow! Four hundred dollars. Is that all? I mean when you put the word "only" next to it, it sounds affordable. Alone...well it's a car payment, but with "only" next to it...pocket change!"

So my husband continued with his infomercial on this diet food, and I started stressing out. What did I do? I reacted the way any PMS-ing women would! I got a prepackaged ice cream cone out of the freezer (while he was talking to me) unwrapped it, and started eating it in front of him.

When the sugar kicked in, and I finally felt better, I interrupted his infomercial. "No."
Then I had the nerve to start in on him, while I was eating my ice cream cone. "Eating is an emotional issue!" I said as I lick my pre-made ice cream cone. "Prepackaged food is not going to make it better!" I had to take a second, my chocolate topping was starting to melt.
And then my mind started getting smarter (probably from all the preservatives in the ice cream). "Maybe you should get counseling about your food issues first."

Looking back (on yesterday), I realize that I am once again a little weird to live with.

We ended the night with a bag of "prepackaged" microwave popcorn and our favorite TV show.

We decided to discuss the "prepackaged food crap" another time.





3 comments:

  1. Where do they come up with these ideas?!?! You are funny... I wish I had a prepackaged ice cream cone right now...

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  2. I forgot just how funny you can be. Thanks for the laugh. I'll look forward to some more posts.

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  3. Sorry for all the misspellings guys! I thought I changed them. By the way, my grammer is horrible too. Good luck with that!

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