I have Sad News...Wonder Woman Died and Left ME to Replace Her

I have a news flash. It's rather tragic. Especially if you're married to me.

Wonder Woman died and left ME to replace her.

Tears.

At first, I was just as shocked as you are. But it's getting easier, because when I totally suck at something, when I give up opportunities, when I try to be good-looking, a good mom, wife, entrepreneur, and employee, I tell myself over and over, "She's dead. Wonder Woman is dead. Get over it."

But in my high expectations of myself, and in my disappointing efforts to be perfectly imperfect, I have to remind myself that being Wonder Woman is not all it's cracked up to be.

First of all, she is there for EVERYONE, stranger or friend. What a co dependant moron.

Second, she saves EVERYONE from having to deal with natural consequences. How enabling!

Third, to have her body, she has to starve herself and undergo plastic surgery on a regular basis. Do I detect a distorted self image?

And last but not least, she flies around in underwear and a corset all day. Non-stop. Isn't that indecent exposure? Well...maybe not. These days, it's a toss-up.

So in the end, it's totally dysfunctional to even TRY to be Wonder Woman, but still, I have to clarify how her death has affected me.

Letting go of Wonder Woman isn't just letting go of a superhero in underwear with cleavage; it's also letting go of a persona that so many of us take on in the beginning of marriage.

And then later, we are utterly shocked when she dies and we have to bury her! This happens because one day, in frustration, or in self-confidence, we take off the Wonder Woman outfit and walk to the mail box, bra-less and in sweats, and we don't care anymore.

Then, we throw dirt on her coffin when our kids go to Wal-Mart looking homeless.

We bury her 6 feet deeper when we realize that we never married Superman! And we are happy we didn't, because we learn that in reality, all of our spouse's imperfections almost justify our own!

Ladies, myself included, we are not Wonder Woman, no matter how hard we try. And we were probably disappointed when we realized that our spouse was not Superman. However, the faster we let that go, the happier we will be.

So today, I am grateful for the death of Wonder Woman, and the birth of a really great, imperfect, normal woman.

Which brings me to another thought. Why don't they have a super hero named "Normal Woman?"

Oh that's right, 'cause Wonder Woman would always try to save her from being normal.

And that's a shame.