Blah Blah Blah...and Other Complaints

Okay, so today I'm thinking about women who have what I call “God Issues” in their relationship. It usually starts like this:

“My husband won’t let me do this. And he thinks…blah blah blah. But I feel like I should …blah blah blah…and so I don’t know what to do?”

I ask them, “Do you want to do it? Do you think it’s right for you?”

Inevitably they answer, “Well, my husband thinks…blah blah blah.”

And I say to them, “Who cares what he thinks! He’s not the one who pays the consequences...etc...."

Then their eyes pop out of their head in disbelief, or they laugh. I get comments like, “Wow Jodi, you're such a feminist! I love how you’re like, 'screw you!' What woman power.”

Then I try to explain that I’m not a feminist, nor am I screaming, "Woman Power!" Whatever that means. I have no plans on being completely independent from my hubby. But what I AM is...well...them; the same people who are complaining 90% of the time.

What? Are you saying you’re a hypocrite and your advice is hypocritical?

Yes.

Because I have spent and continue to spend waaayy too many days of my precious life worrying about what other people think, to the extent that I have had to evaluate my behavior.

“Why am I so angry?” I would whine to one of my therapists. “Why is he such a jerk? He makes me blah blah blah….?"

And that’s when I began to realize something. He never MADE ME do it. He may have tried to guilt me, or even just stated his opinion, but he didn’t make me.

As long as I blamed him, I didn’t have to take responsibility for me.

Then I could go on and on to all my friends, feeling sorry for myself saying, “Blah blah blah.”

To this day, if you drive by my house and listen through the door, (I will call the cops), but before you go to jail, you will hear me say, “Why do you always make me blah blah blah?"

Then I get sick of feeling sorry for myself, and I realize that I am capable and responsible for who I am, what I am, why I am. And...

I can’t blame him.

Bummer.

So the solution? It's better to ask myself, “What can I handle? What does God want me to do? And how will this impact my family?" Because in the end, God is in charge of us, not other people.

Then I am forced to take responsibility for my choices, good and bad.

It’s painful at first, but you get over it.